Reeling
by Fallen Meme
Summary: This story starts on a fishing trip to the mountains, and is told from Jack's point of view.
1. Chapter 1

_**This is one of those stories where one small detail changes and this changes everything else, something as small as Jack catching his hand on a fish hook during a trip with Ennis, to the mountains.**_

Jack Twist stood on the edge of a lake looking out towards the mountains, and thought how much he liked being in Wyoming. This was the last day he'd spend here. Tomorrow he would be back in Lightening flat, if things didn't change and Jack was always hoping they would. It wasn't that Jack was not looking forward to going home. He missed his mamma knew that she loved him and cared about him no matter what he was or what he had done. He liked giving his dad a hand round the ranch, although nothing he did ever seemed to please the old man. He'd like to bring his son up here one day, if he could ever get him away from the clutches of grandparents. But his enjoyment of his surroundings was overshadowed with sadness. He turned and looked toward the man sitting on a fishing box that he'd never used, shaving, unsure of the next time was he would see him again.

"So when do you think you can get away next time, Bud?"

"I just started this new job. I don't want Alma getting suspicious. And I got to put food on the table. Probably not till September," The man said shaking his head regretfully and looking down added, "You know I wish it could be sooner, but that's the way things are."

Damn you Ennis De Mar. Not for another six months. Jack turned away hiding his disappointment. He tried to tell himself he should learn to accept the way things were and be grateful for what he had. He picked up stone and hurled in across the lake, disturbing the mirror stillness. The stone ricocheted off the water five, six, seven times. Not bad. Hadn't tried this since he was a boy. He looked back to see if Ennis had noticed. He had stood up and was wiping his face on a towel and said to Jack, , "You ready to ride out or do you want a stay here playing kid games?"

Ennis went to untether the horses. Jack picked up the fishing box that Ennis had been sitting on. As he slung it in the cab of his truck, the catch on the lid pulled apart and contents spilt of to the floor of the truck. Jack saw a piece of paper tied to a line. As he reached to pick it up his hand got caught on a hook. Deep, scarlet blood dripped down his hand.

"Fuck."

"What's up?"

"You left your goddamn tackle box open. I got a hook in my hand."

"I don't know how that happened. I ain't never opened that tackle box. You don't leave me no time for fishing."

Jack ripped the paper on the line and saw that a note was written on it in small neatly formed writing, "Hello, Ennis, bring some fish home. Love, Alma." His blood stained the paper.

Jack heard Ennis call out, "Is it bad? You want me to tie something round it for you?"

Jack sat staring at the note until he heard Ennis call out again, "What's the matter?"

"No, nothing." His mood darkened further. Even out here she couldn't leave them alone. She had him all the time. Jack only got to spend a few weeks of the year with him.

He heard Ennis approach and quickly took the note off the line and shoved it in his pocket. "Here, let me have a look," Ennis said. "Don't know how that case got undone. I swear, I never used it." He tended to his hand gently, stemming the flow the dripping blood with a clean t-shirt.

They rode side by side up the mountain with a somber, unspoken closeness. The sunlight flickered on the mountain stream, tall pines guarded their ascent. The horse's hooves crushed the mountain tussock and white flowers. They reached a clearing and dismounted. Jack stood by a rock pissing while Ennis lit up a cigarette squinting against the hot noonday sun.

Jack was aware that Ennis was watching him, and from the corner of his eye he could see his hand had moved to the front of his jeans. He covered the distance between them, sliding his hands under Jack's jeans and pulling them down, kissing the back of his neck, rubbing his hands over his back and around his chest. Jack leaned forward slightly, submitting himself to his lover. "What you waiting for?" he whispered.

"Why the goddamn hurry?" Ennis said softly. He knelt down and kissed Jack's back, following the line of his spine.

Jack turned round and facing Ennis and wound his fingers through his light brown curls. He leaned back and began stroking himself, dragging the tip across Ennis's slightly parted lips. Ennis caressed the delicate skin with his tongue . Gripping Ennis's hair he pushed his mouth onto him and Ennis began sliding his mouth up and down. He saw Ennis had unzipped his jeans and massaging himself, was already dark and engorged with need. Ennis reached a hand round Jack's calf and pulled him down on the ground. Jack slithered away from him laughing. He was in no hurry either. Their earlier encounters had been urgent, and he wanted to make this one last. Ennis lunged at him, and the two rolled over and over in the thick lush mountain grass, pulling off clothing as they tussled until they were facing each other and both hard, they rubbed against each other. Jack stopped resisting and hugged Ennis close. Ennis smoothed back Jack's hair and wrapped his hand round his jaw, covering his mouth with hard, probing kisses. They rolled over again, and Ennis lay on his back with Jack kneeling over him. He kissed the hollow under Ennis's shoulder, his mouth trailed gently down his chest and belly until his reached his crotch area he ran his tongue up and down the length. Ennis slid his hand over Jack's back and between his cheeks, finding the opening. Jack sighed with pleasure, he placed his leg over Ennis's hips. straddling him.

Ennis's his face was tense with desire. Tomorrow, Jack would be watching him drive back to his life in Riverton, but at that moment he knew he belonged only to him. Jack eased himself onto Ennis, slowly moving up and down, adjusting to the fullness inside him. They began to move their hips together faster, Jack's member was bouncing in front of him, the course hair on Ennis's belly tickling the sensitive skin. Ennis pulled him forward and kissed him hungrily. Ennis turned Jack into a kneeling position and pushing his shoulder against ground, penetrated him again, this time driving deeper, pushing all of his length in him. With each quick hard thrust, Jack gasped until Ennis let out a long, low moan, Jack could felt him contract and knew that he had climaxed. They collapsed on the ground and, Ennis still dripping and hard, pushed himself back in Jack and thrust gently, pinching his nipple as he watched Jack stroke himself to completion. Ennis licked a little of the splatter off Jack's chest and kissed his ear lobe. They lay in the slippery heat facing one another, still breathing hard. Jack smiled and stroked Ennis's face. Ennis grinned back clasping his wrist. Not wanting to go back to the camp, Jack jumped up and ran towards the stream. Ennis followed him, hooping around, pushing each other over in the flowing water. The cold water coursed around them. They laughed, trying not to lose their step against the tide.

Ennis stopped and stood stony still, "Shut up Did you hear that?" He ran to where the horses were tethered, got his rifle and snapped it up to his eye listening hard.

Jack followed him out of the stream. Clouds veiled the sun and still naked, they both shivered in the darkened, chilly air.

"It sounded like footsteps to me. Sure I heard someone running off. Maybe someone was watching us. The things you make me do," Ennis said.

The things you want to do, Jack thought ,not knowing whether to laugh or get mad but settling for neither. Ennis brought his rifle down slowly. He threw his arm round Jack and pulled him tight against him, continuing to look round warily. Seeing how spooked Ennis was, Jack said, "Its alright. It ain't nothing. Probably an elk, may be a bear."

The got dressed without speaking and rode back silence down the opposite side of the mountain they had come.

Half way down they heard the sound of a thumping drum beat and wailing guitars. They saw a van across the other side of the stream, vibrantly colored flowers were painted on the side. Two girls with long flowing hair, were gyrating to the music. A man with his hair in a pony tail sat on the ground smoking and watching the girls.

"What the hell is that?" Ennis said.

"Look like hippies. Seen some in Denver. Ain't seen none out here before."

One of the young women yelled out across the water, "Hey man, you don't have a repair kit? Guy that sold me the van didn't tell me it had a bum tire"

"What the fucks the matter with them? Coming all the way out here without a fucking repair kit," Ennis said under his breath

Jack called out, "I'll come back with one. I'll be about an hour."

As they rode by Ennis said, "You sure you'll be alright going back there by yourself."

"They're different but they seem harmless."

"You don't think it was them that seen us?"

"No. Forget about that. Like I said it was just some animal."

Even if they had seen, Jack was not going to tell him that. Someone finding out was Ennis's biggest fear. For all Jack knew they may have done, but he knew they weren't going to do anything about it. Hippies were meant to believe in peace. He'd seen them on the Viet Nam protests on television. And if they had, they weren't the only one's who'd seen. Jack had gone back the to try to get work on Brokeback Mountain for a third summer, and Aguirre that old son of a bitch, must have spied through those binoculars hanging on his wall. He had a look of disgust when he told him that he'd seen them stemming the rose while they were meant to be watching the sheep; wouldn't give him another job. Jack had experienced the same disgust and snide remarks when he had tried to pick up a guy he rodeo'd with. He knew other people didn't accept what he was, but people had found out and he had survived them finding out. Nothing as bad happened to him as what Ennis imagined might happen.

And as for Alma? Jack pretty sure she knew more than Ennis thought she did. He remembered the look on her face when Ennis had introduced her. He was still trembling from the embrace Ennis had given him after they saw one another for the first time in four years. He was sure she had seen something, her face was ashen, and her eyes were big as always thought that if it weren't for Alma that he and Ennis could have some chance of a life together, but she had always stood in the way. The last thing Ennis said when they parted after Brokeback was that he was going back to marry her, and now she was still holding on to him.

Ennis had said once, "It ain't Alma's fault", and Jack had to admit to himself that maybe it wasn't. That maybe what was holding him back from being with Ennis was far bigger and less tangible than Alma, maybe even bigger than Ennis himself. Jack sat in the cab of the truck, pulled the note out of his pocket and looked at it again. She seemed alright, probably wondering what the fuck was going on but seemed polite enough. All three of them were suffering, trapped by Ennis's refusal to see the truth. Ennis couldn't give her a proper marriage but wouldn't begin a life with him neither. Jack began scrawling a note of his own.

_**I read somewhere there was a hippy scene in the movie that was cut. I don't what happened in it, but I decided to include my own hippy scene. I find the combination of J & E and and hippies weird but irresistible**_


	2. Chapter 2

Jack looked at the note again:

_Hello, Ennis, bring some fish home. Love, Alma_

It would have been eight years since he had seen her, and for no more than a few moments, standing there in the hallway of Ennis's apartment looking at him wide eyed and startled. He guessed then she had must have seen something. He had heard one of Ennis's little girls babbling in another room. For once, he was stuck for words, but managed to blurt that he was a married man with an eight month old son. Alma wasn't reassured by this news and just kept staring at him like a rabbit caught in headlights. He backed out the door hearing Ennis telling her that he probably wouldn't be back that night.

As soon as soon as they shut the door of the ramshackle motel room, they took up where they had left off outside his apartment. Ennis pulled his vest and shirt over his head at once, all while not taking his eyes of him. Boots and jeans quickly were just as quickly removed. He pushed him hard onto the bed, and kissing roughly murmured , "I been waiting four years for this." His hands were everywhere, over his arms, chest and back as if wanting to touch everything at once. Jack still had his jeans on, and Ennis massaged him through his denim. Jack pulled his own jeans down, and moving on top of Ennis and said consolingly, "Soosh, we got all night." He kissed the pulse on Ennis's neck; his blood was hammering under the skin. Jack's mouth moved down his body, and he ran his tongue along pale skin on his hip next to the pubic area which was damp, and covered with a fine film of sweat. Ennis's member arched toward him, weeping slightly. He parted his lips, letting his mouth cover it, and Ennis inhaled a sharp breath as Jack wrapped his hands round his hips, pulling him closer to encourage him. Ennis began stroking his chest and then reached further down, grasping him, his hand sliding up and down him before abruptly pulling away from Jack's mouth groaning , his hips were still shuddering as if he still wanted to thrust. Jack turned his back toward Ennis and could feel the front of Ennis's thighs touch the back of his legs. Jack could hear him moistening himself with salvia, slowing down, and gently stroking him with the tip. Jack's muscles tightened in anticipation. As Ennis penetrated him, he grabbed Jack by the waist with one hand, pulling him back close against him. The fingers on his other hand curled round Jack's bicep. Jack felt the hair on Ennis's chest brushing against his shoulder blades. Each thrust bought him a jolt of pleasure, making him crave his own release, he grabbed Ennis's hand and pushed it against him.

As Ennis climaxed he said Jack's name in a gravelly whisper, and Jack silently mouthed, "I love you" into the pillow. They both lay exhausted in a sultry tangle of limbs. Jack reached for the cigarettes in his pocket of his shirt lying beside the bed, lit one and handed it to Ennis, lit another and took a draw on it. Throwing a protective arm round Ennis, he pulled him close and said "Four years, damn." On the long drive from Texas, he had guessed that nothing would have changed between them, and he had been right.

Looking back, this was the moment that he was sure they were about to begin a life together. Once he had sent the post card to Ennis, Jack had already had a plan thought out. He wasn't going to let Ennis disappear from his life the way he had when they had finished the job on Brokeback. He knew Lureen had become disillusioned with the marriage and her father treated Bobby like the son he had always wanted, and kept hinting that he wanted Jack out of the picture. Lying in bed in the afterglow of sex he was ready to tell Ennis the next step of his plan; that he had thought of a way for them to get their own place.

He would never have imagined, lying on the bed in the motel room, that years later he would only see Ennis a couple of times a year up in the mountains where no one could lay eyes on them. He again thought of Alma. She had known something was going on back then, and she would know that they never did any fishing on their fishing trips, as the fishing box was unopened and the line never touched the water. And how many fishing trips ago had she first tied the note to the line?

He began to write,

_To Alma, I'm writing this note cause I'm guessing that you have got some questions on your mind about me and Ennis. I know that Ennis would have told you nothing. I would welcome the opportunity to talk to you. I will be up in Lightning Flat for the next week and after that I will be returning to Texas If you don't want to talk to me, I understand. If you do, you can call me collect at my folks place._

He paused from writing. What if he had got it all wrong and she'd come up with some explanation for what she had seen outside the apartment, and managed to put it behind her? He looked towards Ennis lighting a fire, getting out pot getting ready to cook them some supper, just like when they worked together herding sheep. Even though he wished it could be like this all the time, he knew he couldn't risk losing what he had. He would make sure that the line looked like it had been used before they left, and not tell Ennis because he knew it would just make him feel even worse about things then he did already. It wasn't the first time he had hid things so as not to endanger what they had together. He folded up both notes carefully, the one that he had just penned, and the one that Alma had stuck to the line, and put them in his pocket. He took a couple of folding chairs off the back of his pickup and sat them next to the fire. One day Ennis will come round, he needed to be patient, be grateful for what he had. As he stood there, he could feel Ennis's arm's wrap round him round him from behind and his breath warm on his neck. In a voice low and gentle, vibrating close to his in his ear, he said, "Jack, you know I wish we could meet up sooner."

He leaned back into the embrace and said, "It's alright." Then turned towards him, and kissed the corner of his mouth. Ennis looked down. Jack placed his hands on the side of his head and pulled him towards him, kissing him again, this time more intently.

"Don't worry about nothing."

"I know six months is a long time, but next time I can make it ten days. The foreman said that I could borrow his cabin if I wanted. We can shoot an elk."

"Yeah sure, sounds good. I'll go and get that kit up to them hippies to so they can be on their way."

"You sure you don't want me to come with you?"

"I won't be long. Open that bottle of whiskey I bought. Have some ready for me when I get back - we still got one night together."

Jack rode back up the trail to where the hippies were camped. They were sitting around a fire and a man with a beard and a head band was strumming a guitar. Jack dismounted and approaching them said, "I brought what you need to fix that tire."

The young woman that had called to him over the stream said, "Lucky we ran into you. We thought we missed you. Lucy saw you and your friend riding up the mountain earlier. She went up after you but came back and said she couldn't find you." She gestured to a girl with long stringy hair and small round glasses. The girl averted her eyes from Jack and looked flustered. Maybe it had been her that had seen them. Just as well Ennis hadn't have come with him. He might not even want to meet in mountains again if he thought they had been seen.


	3. Chapter 3

Jack got to work loosening the tire on VW combie van. As soon as he arrived with the puncture kit, the hippies left him to get on with the job, like a repair man that had turned up in the middle of nowhere. He could hear them talking and laughing around the campfire, about what else they were going to do before starting college. One of them had a friend up in San Francisco who they could stay with and after that go and after that they might see the Grand Canyon. As they talked the fragment smell of weed wafted in the twilight summer heat. As Jack worked, and he listened to them talking, he thought about how different their lives were from his when he was the same age. Growing up poor, on the desolate plain's, realizing that he was different. He hoped that Bobby more opportunities that he did, and that his reading and writing would come right. He wanted Bobby to go on the college, like Lureen. He glanced up and saw Lucy, the girl that may have followed him and Ennis up the mountain, staring over at him. She noticed him staring back and her, and cast her eyes downwards

Kneeling down, hunched over the wheel, he heard her voice behind him. "Thought you might be hungry," she said offering him a plate of food.

Jack didn't look up , "No thankyou, Miss. I got supper waiting for me when I get back to camp." He continued what he was doing, wanting get the job done and get back to Ennis.

He finished off sealing the tire but was aware that she was still standing staring at him.

She said, "Sorry, if I gave you and your friend a fright earlier on today."

He froze from what he was doing. So it was her that had seen them. He said, "You shouldn't go snooping around on people like that."

"I wasn't snooping on you," she said indignantly. "I followed you to get assistance. I wasn't even there that long." She paused, and her voice quavered, "I thought your friend was going to shoot me ."

Jack stopped what he was doing and looked up at her. He could see that she was shaken over what happened, which seemed to be less about seeing him and Ennis together, and more about having a gun pulled on her. His tone softened and to reassure her he said, "Well, he didn't know who it was. You scared him just as much he scared you. We thought it could a been a bear. You're out in the mountains. Shouldn't a have gone wandering off by yourself, not out this way."

Her eyebrows knitted together, and she crossed her arms. "The way he was pointing that rifle, it looked like he wouldn't have waited to see if it were a bear. He was going to shoot anyway. I wasn't spying on you," she repeated. "I wasn't there long but, I could tell you and your friend wanted to be alone."

So she had been there long enough to know what was going on. He narrowed his eyes and noticing the intensity of his gaze; she stared back anxiously and continued. "I mean, whatever you and your friend were getting up to, it's your business. I just don't understand why your friend wanted to shoot me over it."

Since she had already seen, there didn't seem any point trying to hide it. Jack said, "Well round here people don't like the idea of two guys getting together. That's why we come all the way out here to meet up with one another. A lot of folks round here might want to do harm to us if they found out about us."

"I don't think there's anything wrong with it. You should be able to be with who you want, you're not hurting anyone else?"

"That's the way I look at it, but my friend and a lot of other people round these parts think differently."

"That sounds sad, coming out all this way just so you can spend time together. It's not like that in LA. My parents are friends with these two men that live together. They just treat them like any other couple. Have them over dinner. It's like they're married, they both wear wedding rings."

"A guy married to another guy. Who ever heard of that?" Jack said, now listening attentively.

"Things are changing. It's more accepted nowadays."

"Maybe other places, but not in Wyoming."

"You shouldn't put up with it. It's unfair. You should try and change the way things are."

Growing impatient with her, Jack said, "Look Miss, I don't want to go out and change the goddamn world . I just want the same things everyone else does, to settle down, work for a living, get by. Only difference is, who I want to settle down with happens to be a guy."

"I didn't mean to …."

"It ain't that simple. There's more to it than that. A hell of a lot more." Jack said, thinking that they both had wives and kids. Not to mention that Ennis still struggled to accept that he liked men.

As Jack finished putting on the tire, he heard the rhythmic thud of horse's hooves and heard Ennis's voice call out, "You seen my buddy? He come up here to help you with your van."

Jack called out, "It's alright, I'm just about finished."

The girl said to him, "Hope you sort something out with your boyfriend."

Jack said, "Thanks. I hope so too."

The man strumming guitar said, "Why don't you stay. Join us for a while."

Ennis still sitting astride his horse said, "Thanks for your offer, but we got to go."

As they rode back towards camp, Ennis said smiling, "I didn't think you'd been there that long. Thought you might a been kidnaped by them hippies."

"They were just a bunch of kids."

"They should stay away from the towns, walking around looking like that."

"Tomorrow they'll be going to San Francisco, and I'll be in Lightning Flat."

"I ain't like you or them hippies. I got a job I got to get back to."

"I understand, I just wish we could get together more often. I mean, six months. The times that we get to see one another are getting longer and longer apart."

"Jack, it ain't as easy as it was before to get away."

"I don't know why it needs to be so fucking hard."

"Come on Jack, we been through this before?"

I was talking to this hippy girl. She comes from LA. There's a lot of changes going on. Guys living together. Nobody bothering them."

"Jack, that ain't never going to happen here."

"Well, why not?"

"Whoa you're talking about a bunch of hippies. They live in some kind a dream world, and we ain't out in L.A."

"What if it's not just them? What if they're just the start, that the world really is changing and someday, maybe someday soon, that a guy settling down with a guy, isn't going to turn heads, even round here."

"Jack, that's just crazy talk," Ennis said sounding a little wistful. His tone hardened, and he added, "What you listening to someone coming all the way out here with no proper gear, just heaps of drugs to get high on, and then get themselves stuck?"

"Maybe so." Jack said, thinking to himself that getting together every six months, hiding a way, was even crazier.

Ennis got up from his chair and went over to Jack, he sat next to him and leant against him. Jack took a swig of whiskey out of the bottle and passed to Ennis. Relenting, wanting to make the most of the time they had left together, Jack kissed Ennis's hair and said, "September's not that long away and if we can make for a couple of weeks next time."

"I mean you got Lureen. Don't she mind about you coming up to Wyoming all the time?"

"Lureen? Her daddies got her helping him run the business, and he's putting her in charge more, being real demanding. Lureen don't mind what I do just so long as I keep my side of the job up. She wants me to get back before the new models come in. The sales figures are holding up, and I'm just about to do another round of trade shows …"

"So she don't suspect nothing?"

"She ain't mentioned nothing. How about you and Alma?"

"Alma? She don't seem happy with nothing these days. She's doing extra shifts at the grocery store. We don't see that much of one another. When I'm not working, I'm looking after the girls and she's working at the grocery store. Just before I came here, she said that she'd had enough of me going fishing and leaving her and the girls at home. She said if I left, she might not be there when I got back."

"Well, you and her have been married for a long time now. She wouldn't do that."

"Things have been going downhill between us for a while. Alma could walk out on me and take the girls with her. I've got to get back, start toeing the line."

Jack clasped his arms tighter round Ennis and whispered in his ear, "Shh It'll be alright."

"If I show her I can hold down a job, maybe she'd be happier."

And maybe that ain't the only reason she ain't happy Jack thought, remembering the note she had written which was hidden away in his pocket.


	4. Chapter 4

They had finished off their supper of pan fried potatoes, beans and some jerky put on the barbecue. Jack watched as Ennis rinsed their plates off in the water. Jack, threw some more wood onto the fire. The flames blazed up throwing out heat into the crisp, clear early spring night. He sat back down on a metal chair and picking up the bottle of whiskey, took a swig from it, and passed it to Ennis. Jack rolled a joint, lit it, and handed it Ennis who took a tentative draw.

Jack pulled his thick sheep skin lined parker round him. The nights were already warming up down in Childress, with the promise of lazy summer days ahead. Still feeling chilled, he rubbed the palm of his hand across Ennis's thigh; warm and hard through the faded denim. Since Ennis had told him that Alma was thinking of calling it quits, he had clammed up on him. The news had come out of the blue, and Jack wanted to know more. As soon as Ennis had told him his marriage was in trouble, Jack but he had felt a surge of hope. If Alma wasn't in the picture Ennis may reconsider his proposition of the two of them living together again.

Attempting to open up the conversation, Jack said, "I'll going to Lightning Flat after this . My daddies got a stack of jobs for me to do. You got another job lined up when you get back?"

"Someone I worked for in the Teton's. If I stick this one out there's a chance of me getting made foreman. The boss is looking for a reliable top hand. Maybe Alma would be happy then."

Ennis slunk low in his chair, his hat pulled down over his eyes and swilled the amber liquid round in the bottle.

Jack considering his words carefully, finally said, "All them years you been married... you and Alma might split? Damn I would never have thought it …. and things ain't been going right for some time?

"At first it was just little things….her wanting me to go to church more, get a better job. But now…. Ennis's voice trailed off, he looked pensively away, and took another toke on the joint.

"It don't seem fair that she's unhappy. You always worked hard to provide for her and the girls. The only time you get away is these few we weeks we spend with one another. And she didn't want you coming out here, but you come anyway?"

"I got your postcard back at Christmas, Last time I see you was November. Been waiting to see you for months. To be fair on Alma this was the third job I've had in a year. Now that the girls are growing up they need more clothes and things for school."

"Maybe if things haven't been working out, you can make a fresh start."

Ennis looked miserable, "But what about the girls, Jack. Them girls are the only family I got. She walks out on me the girls go with her."

"Hell that don't change nothing. They're still your girls, you could still help raise them. Just cause the two of you split, it don't mean that you ain't their daddy no longer."

"I don't know. Maybe she wants me out their lives all together. Like I said Jack..She's always angry these days, she gets mad all the time. Last time I got back, after seeing you she asked me why I never bought any fish home. I didn't know what to say. Never asked them questions before. I told what we caught got eaten up. Next thing, she goes and locks herself in the bathroom, I can hear her bawling her eyes out. I wish…" Ennis sat the back in the chair, shoulders hunched, his coat collar pulled up and the brim of his hat pulled down over his forehead. As Jack stared at him he knew, Enns was about to say that he wished that it wasn't Jack that had hold of his heart, that it was Alma instead, but Jack also knew that was never going to happen.

Jack reached out his hand stroked his face, Ennis pushed his hand away and looked down.

"Maybe if you tried talking to her about it."

Ennis looked incredulous "And tell her what? That we don't meet up here to go fishing. What good is that going to do. That's going to make things worse. Once she knows, other people could find out. She goes to church regular. She mixes with that fire and brimstone crowd. Once word gets out…..I still got the girls in Riverton."

"It was just a thought…"

"You already said, Lureen don't know nothing. You don't tell her what you're doing when you come back to Wyoming?"

Jack looked down, He was pretty Lureen already knew what he did when he got up to Wyoming, not that they ever talked much about anything. It was hard getting her to pay attention to anything other than the machinery business.

"No. Hell no." Jack said quickly. He was angry with himself and angry with Ennis. He had wanted talk to Ennis about what future lay ahead for them, but had been caught by his own lie. He was lying again and he was getting tired of it. He threw some more driftwood on to the fire and looked at Ennis's face. His expression was unfathomable.

The sat in silence for a while. Jack got his harmonica out and started playing softly, a Pentecostal hymn that his mother had taught him as a child.

The fire started to die down. Without speaking they both crawled into the tent fully clothed. Ennis wrapped his arms round him and drew him close. Outside the tent, the only sound that could be heard was the fierce rush of water. The remnants of the fire cast shadows of flames which flickered softly against the tarpaulin. Jack leaned against Ennis, enjoying the solid warmth, and could feel his body grow heavy with sleep, and his breathing become soft and regular against his neck. Jack must have drifted off to sleep himself. He became aware of Ennis twisting and moaning in his sleep beside him. Jack placed his hand on Ennis's shoulder and Ennis jerked upright as if fighting something off. Jack cradled Ennis's head in his hands and said, "Come on Ennis …your're alright." In the dark he could just make out his face etched in silvery moon glow.

Ennis took a deep breath and said, "I had this crazy dream. I dreamed that both of us were up on Brokeback. It was back when we were herding sheep. I came back to camp but you weren't there. I could you hear you calling my name and I was looking and looking, but I couldn't find you. You were hollering out my name but I just couldn't get to you."

"I'm right here, Bud," Jack said kissing his temple

"Jack, I thought I'd lost you."

"You ain't never going to lose me. So long as I'm still walking this earth I'll always come back to Brokeback and be with you." Together they lay back down and Ennis rested his head against Jack's chest. Jack stroked his hair. Soon he could feel Ennis's breath slow as he eased back into sleep.

Jack waited until he was sure Ennis was asleep and gently rolled him off of him, and went outside. He lit a cigarette and felt for the Alma's note in his pocket and read it, flicking the lighter on and off, re-reading her words.

They were both caught in a goddamn, dumb ass situation and although he hoped that if he was patient that Ennis would come to his senses and realize it was Jack he should be with, he was losing hope that this would happen, not even if Alma left him. Brokeback Mountain was still the only place Ennis could feel safe enough to be with him and they were both trapped here. He needed to try to change things and find a way out for both of them.

Ennis had always told him the he had Alma and his two girls, and that was why he could not be with Jack. Now it looked as though she was not content with the way things were. Although Ennis had married her after leaving Brokeback. Jack thought back to when he had last seen her, remembering her pinched little face in the dim hallway light of Ennis's apartment. What was she thinking right now? Crying alone in the bathroom, knowing that was something was wrong and not understanding, or bitter and angry; wanting to lash out. Hurt and confused, or wanting vengeance? Wanting to make Ennis feel miserable about meeting him, until Ennis would stop agreeing to meet these few times a year.

He took the note out of his pocket that he had penned to Alma, but had lost his nerve to send to her. He signed it, '_Yours sincerely Jack Twist',_ and wrote the phone number of his folks ranch in Lightning Flat at the bottom of the page. He tied the note back to the fishing line where Alma's note had been, and stuck it back in the fishing box, hoping that she would come across it. He remembered the same dizzy feeling of trepidation , when unable to forget Ennis, and hearing that he had moved to Riverton, he had sent a post card general delivery, unsure at the time whether it would ever reach him. This was the same act of desperation. But the stakes were high. If Ennis knew that he had gone behind his back, Jack knew he could lose him for good.

Jack saw that Ennis's had left his jacket on one of the folding chairs. He brushed the dew off it and pulled it on, enveloping himself with it. The jacket hung slightly loose around him, but snuggly fitted Ennis's larger frame. Like all Ennis's clothes he had the jacket a long time and Jack had seen on Ennis it through the years they had met up, frayed and soft with wear. Jack stood by the river, staring across the darkened water in the bitter mountain air, towards Brokeback Mountain, which was nothing but a black shadow looming against a dark horizon.

**_Author's note. I've always wondered how Jack did find out Ennis was in Riverton, after losing contact with him for four years, but I guess that's another fan fiction._**


	5. Chapter 5

Jack awoke lying on his side, with Ennis behind him, curled round him. Ennis's hand slid underneath his shirt, stroking his arms and chest, his mouth brushing against his neck. Still half asleep, he was roused to wakefulness by early morning bird song, and Ennis's voice whispering in his ear, "Jack, its morning." Jack sighed; facing away from Ennis he smiled but did not stir, and Ennis's touches grew more insistent. He allowed Ennis to roll him on to his back, and could feel his mouth and hands moving over his chest; tickling his ribs, his tongue licking his nipples before moving down his body. Ennis pulled his shorts down, and he could feel Ennis's mouth enveloping him. He reached down and stroked his shoulders and nape of his neck to let him know that he welcomed his attention. Wanting to prolong it he pulled Ennis up, so they were laying side by and facing each other. Jack said to Ennis, "Hmm, I'm goin to miss you wakin me up like this."

They kissed and Ennis lay on his back, his legs encircling Jack's. Knowing what he would asking of him, Jack knelt over Ennis and carefully placed a finger where Ennis wanted him to go, finding Ennis was relaxed, and yielded to his touch, he moved on top of him slowly pressed himself against him. For an instant, Ennis tensed and recoiled pushing the top of Jack's thigh away with the palm of his hand. Jack said, "Easy." knowing this was something that Ennis rarely wanted him to do. He stroked Ennis's belly and could feel the tension leave his body as he softly groaned, and pulled Jack's hips closer encouraging him. Kneeling over him, Jack could see Ennis staring up at him; his gaze was helpless and unguarded, and he was admitting with his eyes what he would never say out loud. Right at this moment, all the time spent apart, the hurts and resentments faded away and disappeared, and did not matter, because now they were close and connected. Ennis reached up and stroked his temple. He bit down on his lower lip, threw his head back then gasped in satisfaction, Jack felt hot cum spurting on to his chest. He looked down at Ennis in dim light of the tent: his hard, defined muscles gleamed with sweat. A few thrusts bought Jack his own rush of relief, and he collapsed on top of Ennis.

He felt Ennis lifting him towards him, and they lay side by side again. Ennis put both hands around Jack's head pulled his head close to his. Jack kissed his forehead and wanting to talk, and to make this moment of intimacy linger. But after lying that way for a for a few moments, Ennis broke away from the embrace and said, "Better get moving, Got a get back by midday." He pulled up his jeans, and untying the ties on the entrance. Jack blinked as harsh bright morning light flooded into the tent.

The both knelt together by the side of the lake, washing down with freezing water. Ennis gathered some driftwood and lit a fire. The dawn was still overcast and grey. Jack got some pots out of the back of his pick up and put some potatoes and beans in a pan, cooking breakfast over the fire.

Ennis said, "I told Alma I'd be back by midday. It junior's and jenny's school open day, and she wants me to be there."

Jack suddenly remembered the note he had tied to the fishing line in Ennis's fishing box. With the arrival of morning and the realization that their parting was looming up, he wondered whether he had done the right thing.

"I guess you'll be busy too, if you got them new tractors coming in." Ennis said looking at him questioningly noticing that his expression had changed.

"Yeah, I got ten trade shows lined up," Jack said looking towards the back of Ennis's truck where the fishing case was stored. "And you're startin a new job too. I guess that'll keep Alma happy."

"Like I said Jack, not much is makin her happy. We don't see much of one another these days."

" You still get together in the evenings, right?"

"No that ain't happened for quite a while neither, she don't want no more babies. How about you Lureen?"

"Lureen? Oh sure, but we won't be havin no more babies neither. I mean with Lureen bein so busy runnin the business – I never thought I'd have kids anyways."

They finished breakfast and Jack rinsed the plates off in the lake. From what Ennis was saying, there didn't sound there was a lot left to his marriage to save. He had waited patiently for over eleven years, and now all he needed to do was wait until Ennis's marriage wound it's self out, and then Ennis would be free to spend time with him. Jack wished he could get the note that he had written off the fishing line. As they packed up the camp, Ennis was never far enough from his side to give him the opportunity to get to the fishing box. At last they were about to leave. Just the metal chairs left sitting beside the dead fire. Jack rested a saddle on the back of Ennis's truck, and could see the corner of the fishing box jutting out from under a tent tarpaulin. He was about to reach for it when Ennis appeared by his side.

"I guess this it Bud," Ennis said.

"You'll make Riverton in plenty of time to get to please Alma. How come she got so upset? She don't like you spending time with an old buddy?"

"It's only been this time she done that. A few times before we met up she asked me bring you back, invite you in for a coffee."

"Well, I never knew that before."

"Yeah. I mean… goddamn. What the hell are we all meant to say to one another." Ennis said, and Jack a stronger feeling than ever that Alma knew and maybe wanted to try and understand what had happened to her marriage.

"I won't be seein you for six months. I hope it all goes well for you when you get back home."

Ennis looked down at the ground and said, "You know, I wish it didn't have to be this way but we can't take a chance on spending more time together, if word gets out …you know what can happen."

Jack wanted to say, "Maybe it needn't be that way. Let's take a risk. At least we'll be together." He opened his mouth to speak and the words wouldn't come out. Instead he said, "Good luck with everything, I'll see you in September."

Ennis looked away and then said, "Jesus Christ. You nearly left your gun here." He walked back over to where the chairs still sat. Ennis opened the gun box, checking that the gun, making sure the trigger was locked. Jack reached out his hand to open the fishing box and get the note of the line. He hesitated. His hand hovered over the lid again uncertain what to do. If Alma wanted to him invite him for coffee, maybe she would be open to talking – because it was how she reacted, Jack knew Ennis was most afraid of. And in her frustrations over the way the marriage had turned out, she could wound Ennis; make him retreat further into himself. He had delayed too long and Ennis was walking by carrying his boxed gun.

Ennis set the box down in the cab of his truck then held him in a tight hard in embrace. One last rough kiss and he said, "See you in September."

He turned, got into his truck, and started the engine without looking back.

Jack stood beside the cab of his truck watching him drive away; the tires hitting the gravel road leaving a spray of dust. His heart was pounding.

Now Ennis was gone, he was reluctant to go. He packed up the chairs and threw them in the back of his truck. The sun came out, and the sunlight played on the water. It was a beautiful spring day. Jack thought about how much he missed Wyoming when he was down in Texas. Ennis aside, this was still his home. He stood for a while looking out across the lake. The tranquility was disturbed by a horn blaring from the gravel road. Jack turned and saw the van owned by the hippies driving by. Lucy was sitting in the passenger seat. She waved to him smiling. The van stopped and she called out, "Why are you standing there. Has your truck broken down?"

Jack called back, "I'm just about to leave. I took your advice."

Lucy looked at him curiously, and then got out of the van and walked over to where he was standing.

"What about?"

"Bout trying to change the way things are. Damned if I know what's goin to come of it. It's either the dumbest thing I ever done, or maybe something good I'll come from it. I don't know. I'm scared, and there ain't much I'm scared of – I used to ride bulls for a living."

"From what you said, you weren't happy with the situation. Maybe its best trying to change it then letting it drag on. You mind asking me what you did?"

"Oh I just tried to get the truth across, and it was the only way I could think of."

"The truth shall set you free."

"What the hell is that? Is that some kind of goddamn hippy saying?"

"No man, that's in the bible. I hope it works out in the way you want it to." She turned back towards the van and Jack watched as they drove off. He climbed in his truck and started the drive to his folks place at Lightning Flat.

_**Authors Note**_

_**In the movie the conversation went like this –**_

_**After she had seen Ennis and Jack kissing, and before they went to the mountain, Alma asked Ennis, "You know, your friend could come inside, have a cup of coffee." Ennis replied, "He's from Texas." And Alma had reacted by saying, "Texan's don't drink coffee?" I wonder what she was thinking when she made that invitation. Was it complete bafflement, shock and horror at what she had seen, or curiosity, and a desire to understand, or maybe all of these emotions?**_


End file.
